Late for the Sky

Is There a Royale With Cheese Waiting For Me in Heaven?

Our congregation is a homogeneous one, inclusive of many different sects. We do not care what your sectual preferences are, we accept everyone in the Little Blog Chuch of Copious Consumption. Some of you may be observers of the laws of kashrut and therefore you partake not of meat and dairy at the same meal, nor do you serve them upon the same set of Melamac. But some of you ask, "When the Messiah comes" (first or second time, we're not didactic on this) "when he comes, will we be rewarded for observing the mitzvot of kashrut (specifically numbers 163 and 164, Lord)?" I cannot answer this question for you, but I can help you pray. Some of our prayers praise God and his works; some of our prayers ask God for help, for money, or for severe injury to a difficult co-worker and some of our prayers merely ask God to help us understand His ways. This is one of them. It comes from Brother Jimmy Buffet.

I observe all the mitzvot of kashrut
Never eaten anything trefe
I know it’s a sin to eat fish without fins
I keep my meat and dairy on separate plates
If the Messiah arrives and I’m brought back alive
Will I get a dietary reprieve?
When the Temple’s reassembled and the world’s at peace
Will we still need to keep meat away from cheese?

Will there be cheeseburgers in paradise?
Will lobster be allowed? Will it be wholesale priced?
It troubled the Talmudists and it’s stumped the rabbis
Will there be cheeseburgers in paradise?

I schlep down to a kosher butcher place
Where meat is slaughtered ritually
To a pepperoni pizza I always say no
All the packaged food I purchase has a U inside an O
Though I know the kosher laws and I never complain
And never ask the reason or rhyme,
Will ham be in the plan in the Promised Land
Or will baby back ribs forever be banned?

Will there be cheeseburgers in paradise?
Will lobster be allowed? Will it be wholesale priced?
It troubled the Talmudists and it’s stumped the rabbis
Will there be cheeseburgers in paradise?

**Adonai advised to Moses and his brother
**“Don’t cook the calf in the milk that’s from it’s mother”
**What don’t they understand? What did they mishear?
**Well, good God almighty, it seems very clear,

There should be cheeseburgers in Paradise
I don’t want it well done, like a burnt sacrifice
Don’t want no lox and bagel with my sack of French fries
I want a cheeseburger in Paradise
Just a cheeseburger in Paradise
Give me a cheeseburger in Paradise